Panic
by Innocent heart2
Summary: He thought that he was past all of this, that he had gotten better. Even as his heart hammered against his rib cage and his throat threatened to suffocate him, he thought that it was all behind him. But as the news blared across the tv, the truth of the matter was clear. He needed help. (Rated T to be safe for descriptions of self-harm and suicidal thoughts)
1. Chapter 1

**_Mizu: Soooo...I'm back? Don't have too much to say so I'm just going to get on with the disclaimer and start the story. _**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia. All rights to the characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. _**

**_I do have severe anxiety and depression and a lot of that went into this story. This is your warning that there will be mentions of the previously mentioned disorders as well as self harm and suicidal thoughts._**

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

* * *

_Help._

Even after all this time, he still needed help. It felt like a betrayal to ask for it now though. He had finally been given a chance to stand equal with all those he had admired for so long; given a Quirk of his own from the one who stood above them all; had friends for the first time since he was four. Most of all, he was still alive despite everything the world threw at him. He knew that he shouldn't have asked for anything more.

And yet...

_****** **********, age 16, was found dead outside of their high school by several students early this afternoon. They are thought to have committed suicide by jumping off the roof of their school. According to some of their classmates, ********* was often the target of bullying due to them being Quirkless-**_

Izuku's hand tightened around the towel on his neck. He had gone out for an evening run and when he had arrived back at the dorms, all his fellow students were enraptured by the newscast blaring across the tv screen. Several had looks of horror. Others looked visibly uncomfortable with the subject matter. One pointedly avoided looking at the tv, his own fists clenched as he tried to ignore the happenings around him. The freckled face boy stared at his classmates in horror but for different reasons, his mind racing with sudden questions he was not prepared for:

_Had any of them ever treated someone without a quirk like Kacchan had?_

_What did his friends think of the Quirkless?_

_What would his friends think of him?_

_Would his death have affected them the same?_

That last thought startled Izuku out of his thoughts. His throat clenched even as his breaths quickened to a frantic pace. He could feel his heart pound, trying to burst through his chest. His vision blurred as the first tears slid down his cheeks. No, he couldn't break down here. Someone would surely take notice and draw the others' attention. Then what would he do? They would all turn on him the moment they learned he used to be Quirkless, right? Even if they didn't, the inevitable change in how they would view him would destroy him. So, without a second thought, he fled to his room, unconsciously activating his Full Cowl. He flung his door shut behind him, not caring when instead of shutting it blew through the frame and whipped around on its hinge to put a dent on the hall wall. The thought that someone might walk in to see him in this state never crossed his mind. He was far too frantic to care as he ripped the drawer of his desk open. Pencils and papers alike flew out, scattering around the typically tidy room as he searched for a very specific bottle. Tucked away far in the back, he found it as his chest started to tighten, much like his throat.

Both his hands quaked as he inspected the label on the small orange translucent bottle in his gasp. '_Good, not expired_'. He hadn't needed these for so long that he was honestly worried that they might have. His eyes darted around the room looking for his water bottle. A curse was heard only by air when he realized that he must have dropped it in his mad dash to his room. Taking a deep breath to try and hold himself together, Izuku bolted out his door and down the hall. He never noticed the startled pair of sky blue eyes as he dove into the closest bathroom.

Shaky hands fought with the childproof lid as he tried to take deep breathes. He could hear the voices swirling around and around his head. Echoes of his past and his own doubts dug deep into his psyche, twisting the knife even deeper into his heart. Finally, the lid popped loose, spilling small white pills out onto the bland, tiled floor. He'd worry about the mess later. One pill held tightly between his fingers, Izuku stuck his head under the sink facet and turned on the water.

"Young Midoriya?" The voice of his hero and mentor called out.

"!?" Izuku nearly choked on water before he could whip his head free from the flow, "...A-A-A-All M-M-Might?!"

Toshinori Yagi took in the scene before him with deep confusion. The pills that were splayed about the room. The panicked Izuku whose chest heaved and down in a way that he hadn't seen since the day he raced forward to rescue Bakugo. What caught his attention the most, however, was the pleading look in his young student's eyes. They screamed out to him...for him to leave. To forget what he saw. To understand. But most importantly, the screamed for help.

For a moment, the two just stood there staring at one another.

"I-I-I c-can e-e-explain!" Izuku wanted to. God above, he wanted to explain away why it felt like his whole body was shaking. Why his felt like he was going to break into a million pieces. The pills scattered across the floor could have spoken for him, but they most likely would tell the wrong story. He didn't know if his heart was going to stop or explode from how fast it was beating.

Toshinori held up his hand before pointing at the pill between his successor's fingers, "You were about to take that, right?"

"A-A-Ah, y-y-y-yeah," Izuku nodded, though he wasn't sure if the motion could be differentiated from his shaking.

"Is it safe for you to take?" inquired Toshinori. The boy immediately nodded, a moment of calm clarity that had been absent since the beginning of the conversation. "...Take it, then we can talk," muttered the teacher, stepping back into the hallway.

"Y-Y-Y-Yes!" And just like that, Izuku shrank into himself once more.

Toshinori ran a hand over his face as he listened to the water turn on behind him. He had not been expecting such a sensitive discussion when he arrived. Stepping off the elevator moments earlier, he had been planning on checking on his successor after his evening training (because he knew that the kid had the habit of overdoing it like eighty times over) when he had heard the door crash into the wall. Hurrying over to the source, he gasped as he watched Izuku practically fly from his wrecked dorm, down the hall, and into the bathroom. The look in the boy's eyes were too similar to when he had mistakenly told the boy that he couldn't be a hero. They were too dull. Too...broken.

That was something his eyes should never look like.

He heard the water turn off and looked back into the room. Izuku was leaning heavily on the sink, his body visibly shaking. A few of the of the pills caught his eye again. The voice of a teacher yelled in his head that he should have questioned what the pills were before allowing him to take one. Yes, the boy showed none of his usual hesitation when questioned, but what if they were something harmful? He shook the thought from his head. His young Midoriya taking drugs? No, based on what he saw before them, the pills were most likely for his student's anxiety attacks. He did find it strange that despite seeing the boy have numerous attacks that he had never seen him take them before.

Stepping up to the trembling boy, he placed one of his skeletal hands on his shoulder, "Young Midoriya, come."

"B-B-B-B-But-"

"Don't worry about the pills," the retired hero gave him a reassuring smile as he quickly texted Aizawa about the situation. The other teacher had come with him to check on the students and was still down in the commons. He would be able to distract the others long enough to come and help hide the evidence of the boy's break down.

Izuku stiffened under his gentle hold, but gave up without another word. He took a shaky step to turn, but stumbled over his own feet. Toshi was fast enough to brace him before he fell. Sighing slightly, he wrapped one of his lanky arms around the boy to help guide him back out of the bathroom. Their trip didn't take long. Once they were safely back into Midoriya's dorm room, he took a moment to try and unwedge the door from the wall. He grunted as he did his best to work it loose, failing miserably. He contemplated trying to shift into his muscled form for the split second he would need when a familiar cloth wrapped around the handle and yanked it free.

"Problem child being bothersome again?" Aizawa sighed as he helped Toshinori reposition the door.

The blond immediately bristled, not appreciating the usual banter about his protégé after what he had seen; he quashed it down, knowing Aizawa meant no malice. Toshinori glanced at Izuku once more. The kid had not moved from where he had left him in the middle of the room, arms curled tightly around himself. The light glinted through the doorway, catching on the fat tears rolling down his freckled cheeks. His shoulders were hunched up and his whole body shook. The sight made the teacher's heart clench.

"I'll handle it," Toshinori said firmly to his teacher, nodding to the bathroom.

"Right," Aizawa ran a hand through his hair, turning toward the scene of the crime. He looked over his shoulder, debating on something for a moment, "...I don't know if this means anything, but the kids were watching the news report on the suicide victim from yesterday."

Toshinori's sunken eyes widened before he hurriedly propped the door back in the broken frame. Turning quickly, he watched as Izuku finally crumbled into soul-shaking sobs. The boy curled further and further into himself, trying to become as small as possible. Feeling his own heart shattering, Toshinori plopped down next to his successor. Gently gathering him up in his arms, he held him tightly as his boy cried, fighting his demons that the hero was sure he had fought for years and would fight for years to come.

Why hadn't he questioned it more? When he had heard from the boy that he was quirkless, he remembered his own days of being teased and taunted by others. But at least back then, he wasn't the only one growing up quirkless. The population was a little more evenly split. Kids that did have quirks still probably had at least one relative that didn't. The quirkless knew that they were a dwindling breed but they weren't alone. But in the span of his life, the world had changed drastically. It was a terrifying thought. It had taken less than fifty years from being a world where everyone knew someone without a quirk to them being so rare that they were targeted, looked down upon, and driven to suicide. The world that they were building was supposed to be one for the better. But how can that be better when children like the one shaking in his arms were killing themselves to escape it?

"S-S-S-S-s-s-s-sorry," Izuku struggled to get out between his sobs.

"Hey, this old man ain't worth much anymore, but I can still give a warm hug," Toshinori lightly laughed, petting the boy's curls.

"Not old," he felt the boy mumble more than heard, "you're only 4 years older than mom."

Toshi blinked before gaping at the boy, "How'd you figure that out?! My age is the second most well-kept secret next to One for All!"

"En-Endevour is 45 years old but h-h-has been trying to s-surpass All M-M-Might his whole career," Midoriya muttered, sobs starting to fade into hiccupping breaths. Looked like the meds were starting to take effect (_'must be pretty strong stuff to take effect so soon,'_ the man mused), "Since h-he has been active for a-about twenty-five years, that means A-All Might has to be close to his age. B-But h-he p-probably started being a hero straight out of school, so th-the earliest he could have started would have been would b-be seventeen or eighteen because th-there were n-no such things as pr-provisional licenses until tw-twenty years ago. A-A high school degree or an international equivalent was re-required for a h-hero license back then. S-So A-All Might had to at least be 45 b-but E-Endevour's graduating class from U.A. only had two hero's that are still active. H-Him and Snatch. T-The two classes prior h-have n-no active h-hero's and the th-three after all joined up with agencies a-as soon as they graduated. S-So All Might has to b-be 48 b-because th-that's the only a-age that makes sense..."

'_Thank god he was never corrupted..._' Toshinori found himself thinking, '_His intellect combined with his observation skills and fanboy tendencies would have made him a terrifying and calculating villain...what the hell am I thinking?! Midoriya would never have walked down that path unless someone forcibly dragged him. Even then, he would break every bone he has fighting against each step._'

Izuku sniffled, pushing himself further into his arms, "S-s-sorry..."

"What are you apologizing for?" huffed Toshinori, squeezing him slightly, "Your overanalytical mind is one of the things that makes you who you are. Never apologize for that."

The teen nodded before trying to move away. Toshinori allowed it but just enough so that the boy was not in his lap anymore.

"...want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

The freckle faced teen shook his head, paused, then slowly nodded.

"We don't have to," Toshinori patted his leg, offering a choice for the boy just in case.

"I-I-I...I-I n-n-need to let it a-all out," Izuku said, once more curling into himself, "Th-That's wh-what m-my therapist said..."

"Therapist?"

The teen nodded, "Th-Those pills...th-they're for wh-when I have...a-attacks."

"...how often?"

Izuku shrugged, "Th-They don't happen often an-anymore. I-I think this is the first o-one that I've had s-since th-the entrance exams."

"Since you gained One for All," Toshinori whispered.

Izuku's mouth drew into a tight line before he spoke again, "...y-yeah. B-But m-my daily meds h-help too."

"You take more?" Toshinori felt his eyebrows furrow on his brow.

Another slight nod, "B-B-But m-m-my dosage h-has been pr-pr-progressively been going down!"

"Midoriya, my boy-"

"Pl-please don't b-be mad!" Izuku pleaded, hands shooting for his teacher's shirt, "I-I-I've b-been trying s-so hard to get off th-them! T-T-To prove th-that I don't need them!"

"Why do you have to prove that?" Toshinori was confused. There was nothing for Izuku to be ashamed about. Fighting against your own mind on a daily basis was one of the most difficult things in the world in his opinion. Not everyone could do it, which is what led those like that poor child to-

Toshinori's eyes nearly popped out as both his jaw and heart dropped, "M-Midoriya...Y-You didn't-"

"N-No!" Izuku shouted, hands rushing to his head, clutching at his green curls, "I-I-I n-n-n-n-never...t-t-tried..."

Fear gripped him as he gripped the teen's shoulders, "Did you ever think it?!"

"..." Silence answered him.

Toshinori had never heard anything louder in his entire life.

"Izuku!" he gasped, unconsciously shifting his form in his shock.

The boy flinched, trying to pull away from him. Tears once again poured down his cheeks, following the same tracks as before.

"Oh my goodness..." Toshinori breathed, body snapping back. His hands never left his successor's trembling shoulders. He felt himself start to shake as tears pricked at his eyes. The idea that his poor student had been suffering for so long wounded the retired hero deeply. What if he had become another statistic? Just another child forced to fight through a world that refused them, breaking their backs and their souls simultaneously. He couldn't imagine it. Wouldn't.

"_**I'm so sorry!**_" wailed Izuku, body instinctively trying to make him as small as possible.

Toshinori yanked the boy back into his arms, holding him close as he cried. Rocking back and forth, he held him tight, willing away all the pain. He couldn't imagine what it was like. He had his own insecurities and his own anxieties but he had never had to face the villain that was suicide. Anger bubbled under his skin. Who was it that made this child face such a darkness? Why hadn't he seen the signs? Izuku was a happy ray of sunshine in the right setting but he was a bundle of tangled nerves in anything outside of what he had determined was safe. Flinching away from surprises. Obsessive with the few things that he cares about, probably terrified that someone would try and take that happiness from him.

"Shhh," Toshinori soothed. He could think about all of that once he calmed his successor once again, "I am here, my boy."

The cries continued on as strong, small, scarred hands grasped at his shirt. He was here, but what in the world could he do?

* * *

_**Mizu: Been a long time since I've posted anything and for a story like this where it is so personal for me, I can't really think of anything else to put down here. I will be updating this story again on Friday and there should be about 4 or so chapters long. I only have one scene left to finish so hopefully this story will be completed soon. Ciao for now!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_Mizu: Hey look! I managed to update when I said I would! I don't have much to say up here because I really want to let you guys get to the story so I'll just remind everyone that this story deals with suicidal thoughts and self-harm._**

**_**_Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia. All rights to the characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. _**_**

* * *

**_**_Chapter 2._**_**

* * *

It took about another hour before Toshinori felt that Midoriya was calm enough to talk about what had happened.

"Young Midoriya," Toshinori started. This time, he pulled the teen away just enough to look him in the eye, "How long you have you been-"

"H-Had..." Izuku mumbled, "I-I don't think about it anymore...I-I never want to again."

'_As much as I pray that you never do, you're smart enough to know that you probably will_,' Toshinori thought sadly.

"Even so, how long?"

"...I-It started when I was twelve..."

God, he was so young! At twelve years old, he should have only been worried about what to wear and hanging out with his friends. Not thinking about ending his life.

"I...I shouldn't complain. O-Others out there have it much worse than me..."

"Stop that," Toshinori scolded, looking the boy dead in his eyes, "Whatever others have gone through, that does not make your experiences less valid. Something that you went through left a scar on your heart. That isn't something that you or anyone can deny."

Tears welled in the boy's eyes again but did not fall yet.

Toshinori wiped one of his freckled cheeks, "I am sorry that I didn't notice this sooner. If I had, maybe I could have been of some comfort."

"N-No! You have nothing to apologize for!" Izuku exclaimed before nervously fiddling with his fingers, "I-I...I don't like to think where I would be if I h-hadn't met you that day."

'_Nor do I..._'

"Even so," Toshinori smiled, "Please let me or one of the other teachers if you need any help. You are not alone, my boy. Let us help you."

He watched the boy's lip tremble between a pout and a smile.

"...please do not take this the wrong way, but did the news of that child's plight trigger this?" the teacher asked after a moment.

A single nod was his answer, "I-I'm sorry. I know that I shouldn't let these thoughts bother me anymore. I-I _have_ a Quirk. I'm not..."

"Like I said, it is a scar. Some days it will feel as if nothing ever happened, like you can go on through life thinking that the worst is over. But other days, it'll feel as if it is happening all over again. The pain will be so real that all you can do is pray for it to end. There is no shame in that. Just room to heal so that the bad days get further and further apart," the ex-hero whispered calmly, "Your medicine is also nothing to feel shame for. It is no different than me taking the pain meds and the numerous other medicines that I must take for my injuries. Do not be angry for needing them."

"But I-"

"You do need them," Toshinori interrupted, "You might not always need them but for the time being, they help _you_ keep those thoughts at bay. They help _you_ create a life for yourself that you can be happy with. They help _you_ take a step at a time until _you_ can stand in the light without them. They do not cure you. They do not make you weak. They _**help**_ you stay strong so that you can face your demons."

"...thank you," his successor hiccupped, wiping at his eyes.

"Of course," Toshinori smiled, "Want to talk about it now?"

A sniffle then, "N-No but I-I still need to let it out. N-Normally I tell my mom but sh-she's so worried about me now that I have a Quirk, I don't want her to know."

"Like I said, I am here," the blond offered.

Midoriya shot him a shaky but grateful smile before taking a deep breath, "O-Okay. Let's see...I had just come in f-from my evening jog wh-when I heard the news. A-All I could think of was what everyone would th-think if they found out that I had been..."

Toshinori frowned. He could see where that would be a terrifying train of thought.

"I-I got so scared th-that the friends that I had finally made w-would hate me like everyone did before I came to U.A." Izuku continued, "I-I don't want to lose them...but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about it."

Toshinori rubbed gentle circles on his back.

"I-I don't want to know or t-to ask them but at the same time, not knowing is a-almost just as terrifying," the boy finished.

"...are these your first friends?" Toshinori hesitantly asked.

"Wh-When we were r-really little, I had Kacchan and a couple others. B-But then I never developed my...a-and they b-became my bullies..."

"Bullies?" Toshinori's frown deepened.

Midoriya sadly smiled, "Kacchan really is a good person. But back then, everyone would only ever tell him how great he was and how he was going to be the best. I think he developed a superiority complex at a young age. I-I became the outlet that he needed for his stress because I made myself an easy target. I-I stuck my nose into things and th-the fact that I kept trying to become a hero even though I was so inferior made him question things. I was the only one so I had to be wrong, or at least that's what I think he thought back then. Now, he's changed. Realized that he isn't the only one meant to be great. That being great isn't the only thing out there to be."

"Doesn't excuse what he did," he pointed out.

Midoriya shook his head but the smile stayed in place, "No but that doesn't matter to me. I'm just happy to see my friend changing for the better. I know a lot of people would think of Kacchan as a future villain but that couldn't be further from the truth. He has a lot of rough edges, sure, but deep down he cares a lot."

Toshinori didn't say anything to that. He agreed with the boy but at the same time, the explosive teen had caused his friend so much pain that he had thought of ending it all. If he had, he would have been responsible for it. The teacher knew he was going to have to address this with Bakugou. He would also need to see how the rest of the students were handling the shocking news. But first, he needed to help the boy in his arms.

"...Young Midoriya, why don't you show me your hero notes?" Toshinori said quietly after a long moment of silence.

"Huh?" emerald eyes blinked, some of their familiar light coming back.

"You've never properly shown me the notes you took on me," Toshinori grinned.

"O-Oh...um, sure!" Izuku nodded, crawling onto his hands and knees. He slipped under his bed and pulled out a green tote that was filled with notebooks. Toshinori smiled as he watched the teen debate which one to pull out. At least he wasn't shaking anymore.

"Why don't you just start with the first one?"

It took a moment for the flustered boy to gather himself enough to hesitantly pull out the very first notebook. The edges were well worn and the handwriting that covered the childish hillscape was large and unsure. He had known that the boy had been working on his notebooks for years but this one looked like the boy had just started to learn how to write. It was touching really. Midoriya really was his and many other heroes' biggest fan. They sat together for a long time, flipping through page after page. They managed to get through three of the notebooks, with All Might taking the most space in the first two and only ten pages in the third, when a loud yawn came from the freckle faced teen.

"Getting tired?" Toshinori teased, ruffling the boy's hair.

He whined, rubbing at his eyes, "maybe."

"Then you should sleep."

"Don' wanna," Izuku yawned again.

"You're about to fall asleep anyway," Toshinori smiled, grunting as he stood up, "Get some rest. We can talk more in the morning."

"Yes sir," Izuku grumbled, not bothering to stand, favoring instead to drag himself up into his bed. He plopped heavily into his pillow. Toshinori frowned at how the boy's fingers dug into the bedding. He moved to comfort the boy once more when he heard the boy's voice squeak out.

"...All Might?"

"Yes, my boy?"

"...can I ask a favor?"

* * *

"How is he?" Aizawa asked as Toshinori entered the teacher's lounge back in the U.A. main building.

"Asleep," the blond sighed, collapsing into a chair, "I had no idea it had been so bad."

Aizawa shifted from his seat, dry eyes taking in the exhaustion of the skeletal man before him, "Exactly how bad?"

"..." Toshinori ran his hands over his face, "...suicidal bad."

The underground hero couldn't help sucking in a breath.

"...there is something that Midoriya has not told many people," he chewed on his lip for a moment before continuing, "He was quirkless until something triggered his quirk to manifest during the entrance exam."

Aizawa wasn't sure if his eyes could go any wider.

"Because of that, his life was made quite difficult by his peers," he continued, "I suppose hearing about how another was faced with a similar life threw him back into that world."

Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose, "So when he first started here, he really was just a kid that's quirk had just manifested. Why weren't we told?"

"It was his request as he was hoping for a clean slate where he was treated the same as everyone else," Toshinori leaned back in his seat.

"..." Aizawa mimicked the other teacher.

"...we need to do something about all of this," Toshinori whispered, "This issue needs to be addressed with all the students."

"You have something in mind?"

"...yes..."

* * *

"Young Midoriya!" Toshinori called out the next morning as the students of class 1-A started to file in.

"A-All Might!" Izuku jumped.

The blond gestured for the boy to follow him, "Come with me for a moment. I'd like to speak with you."

The flustered boy looked back between Iida and Uraraka, both who had noticed how jumpy their friend was this morning and were visibly concerned, and his mentor. After a nervous pause, he trotted over to the blond. Toshinori gave a reassuring smile to the two left behind before guiding Izuku down the hallway. He could feel the uneasy aura that the boy was giving off as they came up to the lounge. Couldn't say that he blamed the boy. Having anyone see your greatest moment of weakness was traumatizing. Sliding the door open, he gently pushed the teen in by his shoulders.

"Good Morning, Midoriya!" principal Nezu greeted from his spot next to Aizawa on the couch.

"A-Ah! P-Principal! Mr. Aizawa! G-Good morning!" Izuku quickly bowed.

"Midoriya, Toshinori told us about your panic attack last night," Aizawa stated, rare concern working into his voice.

The boy visibly paled. Toshinori placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You did nothing wrong. Remember that," Toshinori stated, pushing the boy onto the opposite couch, "But we have all agreed that this is something that we need to address with the rest of the students."

"But-!"

Toshinori held up his hand, "We brought you here so that you would not have to sit through the class should you choose not to."

"Wha...?"

"Midoriya-kun, we are training you all to be fine heroes, correct?" Nedzu sipped his tea, "The quirkless have all the same rights as the rest of us. But as you know, people can be cruel. To be able to help them, your classmates first need to understand where they have been and what struggles they have had to face. That way maybe you all might be able to help prevent someone facing that cliff of despair alone."

"I-I..." Izuku's hands clenched the fabric of his pants legs.

"It is not going to just be 1-A. All teachers in the school have instructed to change their lesson plans to broach this topic today," Aizawa stated, "As such, if you would rather, you are free to take today off and return to the dorms."

Scarred knuckles turned white, "...n-no..."

"Hm?" the teachers sounded.

"I-I..." Izuku swallowed before looking at the teachers, eyes shimmering with unshed tears, "I-I want to be there too!"

The teachers sat in silence before Toshinori shook his head with a smile, "Well, it's not like we didn't figure that you would say something like that."

"Eh?"

Aizawa scratched his head, "This isn't a life or death situation that you have to force yourself to fight through. No one will think any worse of you if you took the day off."

"I...I think that I need to be there," Izuku stammered, fidgeting with his hands, "M-More for myself than anything else. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I don't think I could sit b-back in my room wondering what everyone is th-thinking."

"Fair enough," Aizawa sighed, pushing off the couch. He gestured for the boy to follow him, "Let's hurry up and get this over with then."

* * *

"Good morning, Mr. Aizawa! All Might!" the class chanted at the three walked in.

Izuku spared the two an uneasy glance before scurrying to his seat. The teachers could feel the unspoken question on the minds of all the students. They looked at each other before Toshinori nodded. This was going to be a long day.

"Today is going to be different than what we are used to," Aizawa started. The class tensed up, "As I am sure you have all heard, a student at a nearby school committed suicide recently. It is believed that it was due to his treatment as someone without a quirk."

"Because of this tragedy, the principal has asked all the teachers to hold a class regarding this issue," Toshinori picked up, "To start off with, we would like each of you to tell us what your personal views on the topic of the quirkless and what we as a society should be doing to help them. Please. We want you to give us your actual beliefs on this matter."

"Stand up when I call your name and give us your answer," Aizawa glanced at the trembling Izuku, "...Aoyama."

The blond boy jumped, looked around before standing up. He flicked his hair back, "I believe that they are still sparkling souls even if they can never shine brighter than me."

'_Conceited much?_'

"Young Ashido," Toshinori called off.

The pink girl jumped up from her seat. Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she said, "Never really thought about it. There was a kid at my school that I never met but I never really talked to them. But they seemed happy even if they were quirkless."

Aizawa nodded, indicating for the girl to sit down, "Asui."

With a ribbit, Tsuyu stood as Mina sat down, "I feel like people should follow their dreams but sometimes that may not be possible. They probably should stick to safer paths."

Toshinori and Aizawa fought not to visibly wince at her wording as they saw the slight flinch of Izuku's shoulders from the corner of their eyes.

"Young Iida," Toshinori continued.

"They shouldn't be treated any differently!" Iida proclaimed, hand chopping the air with his usual enthusiasm, "If someone with a quirk and someone without a quirk are in need of rescue, I will rescue both of them."

"...Uraraka."

"I feel like they should be able to live as happily as they can," the brunette nervously said, fiddling with her fingers.

"Young Satou."

"Um, I know that they can have a hard time finding jobs but they can still find some ways to be happy right?"

"Kouda."

"They may not be able to be heroes but they can still life their lives."

"Young Kirishima."

The red-haired teen rubbed the back of his neck as he stood up, "I mean, it's our duty to help those that can't help themselves, right?"

A few of the students blinked. Something seemed strange.

"Kaminari."

"Pretty much the same as Kirishima," the electric teen shrugged.

"Young Ojiro."

The teen stared at his fists for a moment before speaking, "What I have at my disposal is a tool to help everyone."

"Shouji."

"I will always do everything in my power to help those in need, even those without quirks to help themselves."

"Young Jirou."

The punk girl rolled her head side to side before speaking her own mind, "I mean, they would have a hard time trying to be a hero. I'm not sure anyone would accept them into a hero program without a quirk. But there's still a lot that they can do out there."

"Sero."

"They can't help themselves so we help them."

The trembling of the poor boy by the window was getting hard to ignore. Several of the students were starting to worry.

"Young Tokoyami."

"It doesn't matter if they can't stand with us. It is our duty to help them at least stand to face the day."

"Todoroki."

The half-and-half teen stared at the shaking teen to his left but decided against bringing verbal attention to him. Instead, he spoke his mind, "The quirkless should stick to "safe" jobs."

The way that Izuku's head fell into his hands was not something the rest of the class could not ignore. However, the teachers pressed on.

"Young Yaoyorozu."

Momo stared at Izuku, worry gnawing at her before clearing her throat to speak, "Well according to the statistics, the quirkless are good at being successful business owners. Most appear to live to be quite happy with the lot they were given."

"Mineta."

The small boy shrugged, "Not sure why we're taking a class to go over this but they can't be heroes. They should probably stick to safer jobs."

"Young Hagakure."

The class blinked. Why did they suddenly skip two of them? So far, the teachers had been taking turns to call out each of the students by going up and down the rows.

The invisible girl slowly stood up, "I guess I kind of just agree with what everyone else has said."

Aizawa nodded before looking directly at the irritated blond behind her, "Bakagou."

"Tch," the boy loudly pushed his chair back as he stood, hands shoved in his pockets, "The quirkless need to stay out of the way."

With that, he plopped back down. Behind him, Izuku looked like he was about to pull his green curls from his head.

"Alright," Aizawa sighed, looking over all the students, "So what you are all telling me is that you all view them as people that have to be protected. That they can't do that for themselves?"

Confusion washed over their faces. True, that was pretty much what they had said but wasn't there still one of them that needed to answer?

Toshinori sighed, pointing at the students, "What would you all say if there was someone without a quirk that wanted to be a hero? That was the _only_ thing that they wanted in their life."

The students looked between each other. Some lingered over the shaking form of Izuku. What was going on?

"Um...I guess it wouldn't be any different than someone with a weak quirk? It would be incredibly tough but I guess it wouldn't be impossible? But it would be really unlikely and they would have to probably stick to just patrols or recon. They probably wouldn't be able to really fight anyone," Mina rambled.

"I see," Aizawa rubbed his head.

"What the hell is with this questioning?" Bakagou growled. He hated this whole class period but he really hated that he could feel Izuku practically vibrating behind him. The damn nerd was starting to piss him off.

"We told you at the beginning. This is because-"

"Because of some no name kid that none of us have ever met," Bakagou interrupted, "Why are _we_ talking about it?"

Several of the students winced. They couldn't deny that they too had been thinking something similar. The teachers frowned at the explosive teen. They opened their mouths to say something but were interrupted when Izuku flew to his feet. Everyone stared in shock at the freckle faced boy. He gripped the desk as if it was the only thing that kept him standing. His heavy breathing was audible to all in the room as they watched his chest heave up and down. The visible quaking of his body terrified the students. _What was going on?_

"Midoriya, what's wro-"

"I-I...C-Can I say something!?" Izuku yelled, eyes wide and face pale.

Aizawa and Toshinori looked at each other before nodding.

"Of course, my boy. But you don't look so well. Would you prefer to sit?" Toshinori reasoned.

'_Do not push yourself."_

Izuku shook his head hard as if to convince himself. He took several deep breaths before pushing away from the desk. Several shaky steps later and the small teen was standing before his entire class. His shaking hadn't stopped.

"Young Midoriya, do you-"

Izuku merely nodded, hand reaching into his pocket and pulling out one of the pills from the night before. He hesitated for a moment. Did he really want to do this? Just showing the pill in front of the class was admitting to a weakness that he hated. Even if he sat back down now, his friends would eventually corner him and ask him about it. But at the same time, what he was about to talk about was something that he knew was going to wreck his emotional state. It had been a spur of the moment decision to bring some of his pills with him to class. He had hoped that he wouldn't have needed it but he was feeling both emotionally and mentally unstable when he awoke and hadn't wanted to risk having another break down in the middle of class. Seeing the pill, Aizawa handed his student his juice packet. Normally, this would be a questionable thing to do but the relieved look upon the boy's face erased any unease the teacher had upon the action. Quickly swallowing the pill, Izuku looked over his class. Hopefully the medicine would enter his system quickly. He was going to need all the help he could get.

"I...I-I think that the quirkless can do just as much as everyone of us sitting in this room," Izuku announced, hands fiddling wildly, "B-But I am biased in that opinion. B-Because until recently, I-I..." the One for All user took a shaky breath, "I-I was Q-Quirkless."

* * *

_**Mizu: Cliffhanger~! Anyway, before signing off this week, I want to talk about the one part of this story that made me hesitant to post it. The fact that I have Izuku taking medication. Based off of my own experiences, I know there are some out there that think that medication for anxiety or depression doesn't work or that it can be cured by nature or that people just need to stop being so down. But that's not true at all. Sometimes, you can do everything "right". Sometimes, you can be as "happy" and as "positive" as you can be, try to "fix" yourself by yourself all you want, and it just isn't enough. And that is okay. I struggled a long time coming to terms about needing medication for my own mental health. I grew up in an area where the idea of taking medication for anything that wasn't "life threatening" was looked down upon and treated just as badly as if you were to go up to your D.A.R.E. officer with a bad of weed. It took way longer than it should have for me to reach out for help. Even longer to get good at taking my medication. I felt that by taking the medication that I was "less human" because "normal" people didn't need to take pills to stop their own brain from destroying them. **_

_**But I'm not. I have come to accept that I need my medication and I probably will never be able to not take something for my mental health for the rest of my life. The medicine doesn't define me and if you are like me and need it to help you get through the days, it doesn't define you. It isn't a cure. It isn't going to magically make all of your problems disappear. It is a treatment. A tool that makes it easier to get through the days. Easier to ignore the voices, fight through the random times of the day that your anxiety spikes up and you are left in the dark as to why. It just makes it so that you are able to start to break the cycles of self doubt and hate going through your mind. **_

_**On top of the medication, I've been in therapy for years. I've had to unlearn so many things that my brain automatically did in response to my own traumas in life. I've had to learn how to break through the cycle of thoughts and redirect my brain onto things that don't cause me to panic. But I can't do it on my own. I've tried, oh believe me I've tried. But with how my brain is wired, I can't do it by myself. My medication helps me by blocking some of the voices. Making it easier for me to reroute my thoughts from whatever is triggering me to something that won't. Because as much as I hated to admit that I needed my medicine, I hate feeling as if everything is breaking down around me and inside me constantly. For the first time in my life, my fight or flight instinct isn't constantly running. I still over think things and can't read social clues well. I still have panic attacks and I still struggle. But for the first time in my life, I'm the one in control. Not my anxiety and depression. **_

_**tl;dr If you are struggling with any sort of mental health problem, it's okay to admit you need help. If that help is in the form of medication, that's okay. You're okay. So long as you are doing what you need to do to get through your days, it's okay. Because you are worth it. You deserve to be happy. Don't let anyone, even yourself, tell you otherwise.**_

_**Okay, went off on a long tangent. Next update will be next Friday. Ciao for now!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Mizu: And it keeps getting heavier. This chapter focuses on Izuku retelling his past and his attempt at self-harm. Again, a lot of this story is based on my own experiences with bullying, depression, and anxiety. I will apologize if it seems that Izuku is stuttering too much. When I wrote this chapter, I worked myself almost into a panic so that my thoughts while writing would be more easily transferred and feel more genuine. Unfortunately, when I have panic attacks, my brain and mouth short circuit and getting through sentences can be difficult. Please let me know if this makes it hard to read or if it breaks the scene. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia. All rights to the characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. **_

_**One final warning that this chapter delves into bullying, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm.**_

* * *

**_Chapter__ 3_**

* * *

_"I-I was Q-Quirkless."_

There was pure silence for seconds after his declaration. A pencil slowly rolled off of Todoroki's desk, the clatter sounding like the world crashing down around them.

"B-Because of a rare genetic m-mutation, my quirk never manifested," Izuku went on, eyes locked firmly on his shoes, "E-Even so, the only thing that I ever wanted to do was to b-become a hero. S-So I studied. I studied and studied and analyzed every piece of information I could about heroes because if I didn't have a quirk, I needed something that would make me stand out. If I studied hard enough, I could impress s-someone that could teach m-me...something. Anything that might have made it possible. I-I tried to join the martial arts club in middle school but they kicked me out because I didn't have a quirk good for fighting. When I tried to join a dojo, the kids would use me as a punching bag until I left after a day or two since I couldn't fight back as much.

"I-In school, I was targeted because I was the only one that didn't have even a weak quirk," Izuku continued. He wanted to stop. He knew that he was going to say something that he was going to regret but it was like he had been holding back a failing dam for years and there was no way to stop the water any longer, "I-I was bullied. R-Relentlessly. When I was little, it was just name calling. Insults tossed at me from everyone that I knew. N-Nobody wanted to play with me or be my friend b-because then they would be a target too. S-Some of the teachers, early on, did try to stop it. O-One even let me eat lunch in the computer lab so that I could h-have a safe place. But others just stood there. Waved it off b-because that's what kids do, right? They're mean. Th-They hurt others because they don't know any better. It'll be good for me, right? Toughen me up for the r-real world. S-Some probably j-just didn't care because I was just some quirkless kid."

Izuku licked his lips, fighting back tears as he continued. He didn't dare look up at his classmates. Couldn't look at them. He didn't want to see what he knew would be there, "I could handle the verbal abuse. I can't remember how many times I would chant "sticks and stones" inside my head. B-But that was wrong. I-is wrong. Words can be just as sharp and deadly as knives. I didn't realize it but by time I had gotten to middle school, I w-wasn't in a good place mentally. I stopped reacting as much to their taunts. I got to school late and left before everyone else so that I could minimize how much time I had to listen to them. And they noticed. I-It wasn't as fun anymore, I guess. Words could hurt but if I w-was already numb inside, they didn't get the same thrill. S-So...one day, it escalated."

"Escalated?" someone whispered. He wasn't quite sure. It came from his right so maybe it was Iida or Uraraka. Or maybe Asui. Whoever it was, they sounded unnerved.

Izuku nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. The freckles on his cheeks scrunched together as he fought against his own emotions, "I-It started with just getting pushed around. "Accidentally" shoved into the wall. My shoes thrown into the pond. Sometimes, my backpack would be tossed into traffic. Then I would be tripped down the stairs," someone gasped, "The pushes and shoves started leaving bruises. S-Some would use their quirks if they thought they could get away with it. I-I have a divot in my leg from where a kid with a rock quirk launched one into my shin. I got used to having to walk through the day like I wasn't in pain. G-Got pretty good at hiding them from my mom and cl-cleaning cuts and scrapes."

Aizawa and Toshinori both clenched their fists in anger. They knew it had been bad. It _had_ to have been to cause the seemingly always sunny boy to have thoughts of suicide. But hearing just how bad made their blood boil. The retired hero fought to keep from glaring at Bakagou. He knew that he had been one of the green-haired boy's tormentors. The explosive teen was gritting his teeth, burning his desk where he gripped it till his knuckles turned white. Anger fused with regret flooded his face. It seemed that he at least realized that he had made a mistake when they were growing up.

"I-I hid a few spare uniforms at school in c-case the day got too rough because I didn't want my mom to worry. D-Despite it all, I still wanted to be a hero," Izuku murmured, voice barely loud enough for the class to hear, "I just...back then, I don't think I really understood what I wanted. I knew that I wanted to be a hero because a hero is someone that helps others. M-Maybe I wanted to help people like me...M-Maybe I was being selfish and just wanted to help myself."

"What do you mean?" Toshinori asked quietly. He had never heard this side of his student.

Izuku sniffled, fighting valiantly against the tears as a few snuck through, "M-Maybe...back then...Maybe I clung so tightly to the dream of being a h-hero because n-nobody had been one for me."

Several hearts broke at the boy's words.

"N-Nobody ever truly stepped in to stop them. The teachers eventually all gave up. None of my classmates stopped the bullies because they would be targeted too. M-My mom tried, I-I can remember her going to the schools and pleading with the teachers to reign in the other students. Sh-She called parents. I listened to her cry herself to sleep because I was born without a quirk and she knew that my life would be hard. I hated it," Izuku hissed out the words, head hung low with his shoulders bunched up, "I hated that _I_ was the reason that she was crying. So I started hiding things from her. I wore long sleeved shirts all the time. Studied up how to make bruises fade faster. I-I tried standing up for myself and that only got me punched harder! I ran away and that only got me a face full of gravel or concrete! I...I wasn't faster than them. I wasn't stronger than them. I-I was...weak.

Izuku choked on a few of his words, "A-All I ever wanted was for someone, _**anyone, **_to reach out and tell me that they were wrong. That what they did was wrong. What they said was wrong. That I wasn't a useless, quirkless kid that would forever be everyone's punching bag. But on top of it all, I didn't want anyone to feel the way that I did because, god...some days...some days I just wanted it all to end."

More tears rolled down freckled cheeks, splashing on the cold floor. Several faces mirrored his own, pain echoing through the room. There was the slight smell of something burning but it was largely ignored.

"O-On those days, the only thing that kept me going was my dream. I-I poured everything I had into trying to become a hero so that I didn't have time to think about anything else. It was too painful to! S-So I filled out notebook after notebook, dreaming of the day that I could be like one of the heroes in them," Izuku had to stop. He had to get his crying under control. Stop before he revealed the one secret he had never told anyone. His mind screamed for his mouth to stop but his heart, which had been hurting for so long, had taken control. He couldn't stop, "B-But then...one day, during my second year in middle school, I-I walked into the classroom and saw a vase with a r-red spider lily* sitting on my desk..."

Cries rang out through the room. Many of the students were openly crying. Iida and Uraraka had jumped up and looked like they were ready to tackle the boy when Bakagou flew up from his desk.

"_**The hell?!**_" Bakagou roared.

Izuku flinched, drawing further into himself.

"I don't remember those fucking side characters doing that bullshit!" Bakagou snapped, but from how pale he was, they all knew that he believed their fragile friend.

"I-It was th-the week you were gone f-for your g-grandfather's funeral," Izuku forced out, "I-I never talked about it s-so I didn't expect you to know about it."

Bakagou growled as mini explosions went off in his hand. He looked like he was going to charge Izuku so Aizawa stepped between the two. Part of the teacher wanted to stop the boy from continuing but knew that with how stubborn the problem child could be that he would not be successful.

"...I...I-I think something broke in me that day," Izuku confessed, eyes losing their trademark shine, "O-Or maybe something had always been broken and I was just too stupid to notice. I don't know. I-I just remember seeing the flower on my desk. I could practically hear all of their taunting laughter. Like I should have seen this coming. Like it was my fault that it had come to this. I...I don't remember how I got home. I had been standing in the classroom just staring at that damn flower, and th-then, I was back home, staring myself in the mirror.

"I couldn't recognize myself," Izuku whispered, "The person that was looking back at me couldn't have been me. They mocked me. The person in the mirror was everything that I had never wanted to be. Cold. Lifeless. Just a broken doll ready to be thrown into the fire. I hated it. I hated _**me**_. Staring into that mirror, I felt so much disgust for who I had become. I-It wasn't fair though! I-I couldn't help it! I didn't have a quirk! It wasn't my fault that I drew life's short straw! It wasn't _**my**_ fault! But...I-It had to be someone's right?"

Izuku's voice squeaked out at the end before he bent down on shaky legs. Toshinori took a step forward, thinking that the boy was at his wit's end. He was stopped as he watched the boy slip off his left shoe.

"E-Everyone knows h-how doctor's check for quirks, r-right?" Izuku asked. Silence was the answer, "D-Doctors x-ray y-your feet to check if your p-pinky toes have one o-or two joints. I-If you have two, th-then you are 99% likely t-to never develop a quirk..."

"Oh god," Momo's quivering voice rung out.

Izuku bit down on his lip as he pulled the sock off his foot. Standing back up right, he slowly lifted his foot up for everyone to see. Uraraka dove for a trash can with Kaminari not far behind. Looks of horror reflected upon each student's face. Bakagou fell back into his seat. Aizawa stared with wide eyes as Toshinori stumbled into a wall for support.

Balancing on one foot, Izuku held out his left for all to see. A long scar ran down the left side of it before merging into a mass of scar tissue at the base of the pinky toe. Said toe did not look like a pinky toe any longer. It was too small, a nub of what the toe should have been, like it had been cut off just below where a toenail should be. It also jutted out slightly to the left, sticking out from the rest of the foot. The scars were jagged, as if the toe had been sawed off rather than chopped. And, as if to mock all those that saw it, there was a single freckle sitting innocently near the top of the nub.

Izuku lowered his foot back to the ground but didn't move to cover it, "Th-That day, I did something that I truly regret. I...My brain latched onto the idea that it was because I had two joints in my toe that everything was so wrong. That those two joints in my damn pinky toes made all the difference to the world. Th-That it would get better if I just got rid of them.

"I-I remember going into the kitchen and carefully looked through all the knives we had. I wanted to make sure it wasn't one that my mom used often because then she would find out," Izuku bit down on his lip again, flashbacks of that day rushing forward, "I-I thought that I could make it better. H-How much different would it be to treat this than all the other injuries I had treated myself? I cleaned the knife and my toes with alcohol, got some strong yarn from my mom's c-craft room to t-tie off the bleeding, and grabbed as many towels as I could handle."

The hands that had been clenched at his side the whole time finally came up to wrap themselves around himself, "I-I can still remember it all so clearly. I-It made so much sense at the time. I sat d-down in the bathtub that w-way I could clean up th-the blood easily. M-My mom didn't have to kn-know and this w-would finally, _**finally**_, make it all better, right? I chickened out twice b-before I finally made the first chop."

Quaking legs could no longer hold him. Collapsing onto the ground, Izuku did his best to fight against his urge to curl into a ball, "I-It hurt so much. And there was so much blood..." he began rocking back and forth, "B-But at the same time, th-there was so much relief with that pain. I-It was the first time I had done it to m-myself. F-For so long it felt like everyone else held so much power o-over me b-but I-I was doing this! I-I finally felt like I had control over something about myself! It felt...euphoric."

There were several more sounds of students retching. Toshinori and Aizawa weren't much better.

Izuku laughed madly, bitter tears freely running down his face, "B-But the knife was so _dull_. I-It couldn't cut through the bone. S-So I lifted it again. This time, it was so much easier to bring it down. I swung it down as hard as I could but it still wasn't enough. So I tried to position the knife over the joint and saw through it. I lost my grip several times because of the blood. The only thing I was thinking was how good it felt despite all the pain and how I needed to hurry up so I could treat this foot and then do the same to my other before my mom got home."

He seemed to realize how he was unnerving his classmates as he took several trembling breaths before continuing, "...during all of this, my homeroom teacher probably did the only heroic thing anyone had ever done for me up until that point...she called my mom and told her what had happened and that she needed to get home to see if I was there. I was almost all the way through my toe wh-when I heard my mom come crashing through the front door. Panicking, I started to desperately chop off what was left. It didn't matter if I didn't get to the other toe that day. I just needed to finish before she came in and then I could worry about it later...

Izuku shivered at the memory, "...I don't think I have ever heard anyone scream the way my mom did when she threw the bathroom door open. I froze mid-swing and she dove for the knife. I-I refused to let go though. Th-This was the first time that I felt in control of anything. Wh-Why did I have to give that up? We struggled for what felt like forever. I-I managed to break away from her and tried one last time to chop my toe off...my mom, her quirk lets her pull small object toward her. Desperate to stop me, sh-she used it on the knife. S-So instead of chopping my toe, it sliced down the side of my foot before falling to the ground next to her."

Izuku grew quiet, tears silently falling down their cheeks as their shoulders shook. Carefully, Toshinori knelt beside the boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. He couldn't take this anymore. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that his successor had been through such a traumatic experience. At his touch, Izuku launched himself into his mentor's chest, knocking the poor man back onto his behind. Wails echoed through the room.

"I-I-I don't remember what happened next! M-My mom told me that I screamed at her for stopping me but I can't remember! Sh-She was so hurt by it all b-but I can't even remember what I said!" Izuku cried, "I-I woke up in the hospital so confused by everything. N-None of the staff trusted me a-and treated m-me like I was like a plague on th-their resources or something! When I first woke up, m-my hands were r-restrained to the bed s-so I couldn't hurt myself anymore! B-But I-I was so scared b-because I woke up with no one there an-and no one would listen to my pleas for help! I-It wasn't until my mom came in that they finally let me go...B-But sh-she almost told them to leave them on! Sh-She was afraid of what I would do! I-I had caused my mom so much pain th-that she couldn't even trust me!"

Toshinori did his best to rub soothing circles into the teen's back. He was sure that other nearby classes could here Izuku's cries. Looking up, he saw Iida and Uraraka coming to stand next to him. Tears rolled their faces before they kneeled beside him. Nodding, he let them wrap their arms around their weeping friend. He didn't do anything to fight them off. Though, Toshinori thought with a grimace, Izuku might not have even realized that they were there. The sound of crying was interrupted by the ringing of the bell. However, neither teacher moved to leave. Whoever tried to come in right now would have hell to pay for intruding on this sensitive matter.

Izuku sniffled after about fifteen minutes, body finally too exhausted to keep crying, "...after that, I started going to therapy and put on medication. It helped but nothing seemed to completely erase that hatred I had. I went back to school after a week more to try and cheer my mom up than because I was ready. Nobody at school was told about what happened and my life continued the way it had been. Probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway."

Momo jumped from her desk, "What do you mean that it continued? What about that teacher?! Didn't they do anything else?"

Izuku shook his head, freckles running against the coarse material of Toshinori's suit jacket, "When I showed back up, they figured that I was fine. I don't even think the kids really got in any trouble. Th-That's just how my school was."

"That's horrible," Ochako whimpered, stealing the boy from Toshinori's grasp and burying her face in curly locks of forest green.

He merely sighed slightly, dull eyes locked on the ceiling, "...I know that a lot of people who are quirkless don't have the same experiences as me but there are those that do. A-And that kid that committed suicide...I can relate too much with it all. A-As much as I wish to change it, the fact is that I still remember thinking along the same lines as they had. And looking back on it now, I hate those thoughts. I-I don't want them. I shouldn't still think them, right? I've got a quirk now. E-Everyone would probably think that I should be "all better", right?"

"Stop that!" Iida snapped, having bolted to his friend, firm hands grabbing those tear-stained freckled cheeks and forcing Izuku to look at him, "There is nothing wrong with admitting that you still are fighting these thoughts! It means that you know that there is a problem and you want to get better! There is no easy way through them! Fighting for this long has been hard, right?! You know that there is no cure all for it!"

Tears pricked at emeralds yet again.

"That's right!" Mina called out, also on her feet. Soon the rest of the class was standing as well, "There will be bad days! But that's why you have friends!"

"Totally!" Kaminari nodded enthusiastically, "All you have to do is ask and we'd all jump in to help you!"

"Nobody should go through what you have," Tokoyami stated cooly, "I apologize...I should not have ever thought that just because someone does not have a quirk that they cannot be strong. It seems that they have to be some of the strongest."

"Ah! I-I was just one kid," Izuku hurriedly tried to soothe his classmates. The teachers shook their heads. Just like him to worry more about others, "O-Others might have had different experiences!"

"That's not the point," Ojiro gripped his fists tightly, "We were all thinking of the quirkless as weak. That because of that they should just be happy with what they were given and make the most out of that."

"That wasn't fair of us," Toru continued, "They are still people. We shouldn't think of them as less. They are don't deserve that."

Izuku stared at his class with wide eyes filled with awe as the rest of the class echoed similar sentiments. The echoes of that fateful day at the start of his third year of junior high coming up in comparison. Bitter laughs slowly crept up his throat until he was shaking his head at the irony.

"Deku-kun?" Ochako asked, petting his hair.

"It's just funny...They would constantly tell me that it was useless because who would want to be friends with someone that was quirkless and that I should just give up," Izuku smiled slightly, "Heck, someone told me once in my third year that if I really wanted to be a hero that I should take one last dive off the school roof. And I couldn't help but to have thought that if they had told me that the year prior I might have just listened to them."

Gasps escaped every student. Nobody paid attention to the fact that the window was now open or that a certain explosive teen was leaning out of it.

Toshinori's eyes widened. What?

"Y-You've got to be kidding me!" Kirishima shouted, "What the fuck was wrong with your classmates?"

Izuku nervously scratched his cheek, "Eh. Th-That comment doesn't really bother me anymore. They didn't know any better."

"Dude, you guys went to the same school, what the hell were you doing during all-" Kirishima started to ask as he turned to Bakagou. He froze as he watched the explosive teen empty his stomach out the window, "...hey...what were you doing back then?"

"..."

"A-Ah! K-Kacchan w-wasn't-"

Kirishima's eyes widened, "_Who_ were you when he was getting bullied?"

"...the fucking biggest one..."

"Th-that's not true!" Izuku scrambled onto his hands and knees, limbs too shaky to hold his weight.

"Shut up!" Bakagou snapped, jolting at his own outburst as he watched Izuku flinch, "...just...shut up."

"K-Kacchan..." Izuku chewed on his lip.

"The fuck did you do?" Kaminari growled. He might have been part of the Bakusquad but nobody, **abso-fucking-lutely** nobody messed with Izuku around class 1-A. They overlooked the explosive teen's abrasive ways for the most part because the boy in question hadn't seemed to take them to heart. Plus the blond was rude to everyone. But this, this was different. The two might be on better terms now, but at some point in their lives, Bakagou helped make Izuku so depressed that he had physically harmed himself. And that could not stand.

Bakagou refused to answer or even look at any of them.

Tsuyu's eyes widened before launching her tongue out, slapping the boy hard with it, "...you were the one that told him to jump, weren't you?"

The way Bakagou's shoulders bunched up ever so slightly and how frantic Izuku looked spoke volumes.

"N-No, K-Kacch-"

"Midoriya, please," Todoroki spoke up, frost creeping down his right leg, "We need to know."

"B-But-"

"I was."

"K-Kacchan!" Izuku gasped, face pale, "What are you-!?"

"I told you to shut up!" Bakugou shouted, hands gripped tight to stop any explosions that might want to go off.

"Why would you say something so cruel?" Momo whispered.

"...I don't know..."

"You...don't know," Shoji repeated, quietly before growing louder, "You don't know?! What kind of answer is that?!"

"After all that Midoriya has done for you, you can't even give him an answer for why you would hurt him so much," Jiro scowled.

"..."

"I-I-It's really not that big of a d-deal!" Izuku pleaded.

"It is a big deal!" Uraraka countered, "You deserve an answer and he has to pay the consequence of hurting you so much."

"B-But...I-I've already forgiven him..." Izuku whimpered, once again curling into a ball.

"...the fuck?" Bakagou gaped.

"I-I mean," Izuku fidgetted with his fingers, "W-We've been friends for s-so long th-that I-I k-kind of just got u-used to it all."

"...how messed up in that shitty head of yours are you, Deku?" Bakugou breathed, "I...I literally tried everything to push you away. Why didn't you just...fucking stop?"

"...I-I don't know," Izuku's voice was barely heard, "...I...I..."

"You can't even answer that," Bakagou whispered.

"..." Izuku shifted to sit back on his ankles, "...B-But if it wasn't for K-Kacchan that day...I wouldn't have stayed after school and th-then I wouldn't have met A...the first person to tell me that I could be a hero..."

Aizawa was the only one to hear Toshinori's breath catch.

"Th-The day that you told me to..." Izuku gripped his pant legs as he trailed off, "I met with a hero that t-told me for the first time in my life that I could become a hero. If you hadn't, I might not have never had that chance. Th-The memory of that day is something that I treasure. S-So thank yo-"

"Don't!" Bakugou growled, hands sparking, "Why the hell would you _thank _me?!"

"B-Because it's true!" Izuku insisted, "A-And you've helped me before t-too!"

"Damn it Deku! This isn't some stupid fucking game!" Bakugou took one step toward the green haired boy. That one step was one too far. The second his foot hit the ground, he felt himself being held back by Sero's tape. There was ice slowly creeping up his feet. Clicking his teeth, he decided against blowing off the offending quirks, "You're messed up!"

"Bakugou!" several classmates shouted.

Izuku flinched at his words but that stupid wavering smile bunched up the freckles on his cheeks, "I...I-I know..."

"You are not!" Iida ground out, forcing the boy to look at him again, his large hands pressed squarely against those bunched up freckles, "You are an amazing person, an immensely caring and wonderful friend, and you are already one of the most magnificent heroes I have ever had the privilege to meet!"

"Iida is right! You are amazing! And loyal and cool and just the best friend I could ever ask for!" Uraraka quickly added in,

"You're so smart!" Denki was quick to add in his two cents, "You are always happy to help us all with studying or just giving us tips!"

"Yeah and you're suuuuuper nice!" Mina beamed.

"The way that you mutter and get excited about quirks is so cute!" Toru bounced, appearing to have nodded.

"You can be reckless and do seem to like to stick your neck out into situations that you don't need to," Momo rubbed the back of her neck before smiling sweetly, "But the fact that you care so much about saving everyone that you can is something that I admire greatly about you."

"You are always there for everyone, no matter what it requires of you," Shoji stated with Tokoyami nodding.

"After all that you've been handed in life, you are still the you whose kindness knows no bounds," Todoroki stood up and crossed the room to kneel beside the boy, "Out of everyone I have ever known, you are probably the most deserving of that same kindness being reflected back upon. Won't you let us do this and help you now when you are the one in need of it?"

Izuku's lip trembled as he futilely rubbed at his eyes to clear his emerald eyes of his tears.

"You need to apologize, Bakugou!" Kirishima demanded, "It's the least that you can do!"

Bakugou clicked his tongue, refusing to look at his childhood friend.

"...it's okay, Kirishima," Izuku let out a slight sigh, shooting the blond a small smile, "Kacchan's changed so much since we started here. It's been...nice. I'm just happy to see him making friends that understand him."

"But that doesn't mean what he did was right!" Kirishima snapped.

"I know," Izuku pulled slightly away from his cluster of friends, "But like I said, I've already forgiven him."

'_I've known Kacchan long enough to when he is genuinely sorry about something_,' Izuku thought, rubbing his face.

"..." Bakugou let out an irritated sigh (or was it a growl?), "...you aren't completely fucking useless, you shitty nerd..."

Izuku blinked three times before he finally lost the battle at controlling his tears once again. This time, three sets of arms wrapped themselves around him, shielding him from everything, including his own doubts.

"That's not much of an apology," someone grumbled. He wanted to speak up against it, he really did, but the lump in his throat was currently making it impossible.

The class shifted uncomfortably in their seats as their peers attempted to comfort their resident ray of sunshine. It was all so much to take in. It was true that several of them had come to the conclusion that Izuku had to have had some sort of emotional trauma earlier in life to cause him to be in a near constant state of anxiety that they were used to seeing him in. But this was far more than they were expecting. Watching him completely break down, clinging to his friends as if his life depended on it broke all of their hearts. Then came the sobering thought that he wasn't the only one that had to face those demons on a daily basis. That despite how much pain he was currently in, he was lucky. That despite all the pain he _was_ going to face throughout his life, at this moment, he was one of the lucky ones. Because he was surviving.

But others weren't. Knowing the kind hearted boy like they did, they just knew that he probably felt guilty. As if it was somehow his fault or that he wasn't allowed to feel helpless against the dark whispers in the corners of his mind because "others had it worse." So many of them had heard those words pointed at others and had done nothing to correct them. They had heard parents scold their crying children because they were crying about something in the mall with those words. Heard classmates diss on others that were having a hard time in life that they "should just get over it.". No consideration given because it was _somebody else's problem_. It didn't directly affect them other than witnessing the sniffling looks of the targets. There was the occasional pinprick of guilt but nothing that couldn't be pushed aside. It wasn't out of malice that those words had been ignored. Rather, it was just something that they heard so much until they became ingrained in their minds to the point that they weren't registered as wrong.

They were though. Those words were so wrong. They didn't just belittle those struggling with the demons of both their own creation and society, but they could – no, **did** –kill. All it would take was to hear those damnable words at their greatest moment of weakness and they became the straw that broke the camel's back. The students were suddenly forced to the realization that so many others had fallen to this astounding weight that they were forced to carry. And even worse, they had nearly lost their friend before they had even met them.

There was no question in their mind that if Izuku had been successful in his attempts, it would have opened the trapdoor above a steep downward spiral that would have most likely led the boy to his death. It may have been the first- and, they hoped, _**only**_ –time that Izuku self harmed, but from his own description of the time was chilling. If he hadn't been caught, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't continue with those acts. Whether they would be as extreme or be small acts that would be easier to hide didn't matter. If he had continued and never received help, they might have seen a news broadcast similar to the one the previous day with his face painted across the screen. And they wouldn't have been any the wiser.

Eventually, the crying died down to sniffling, the lump in Izuku's throat easing up enough that he could murmur out constant strings of apologies. Realizing that the boy was most likely trapped in an anxious cycle, Aizawa knelt beside the students sitting on the floor. Tenderly, he ruffled the boy's fluffy curls to draw his attention from wringing his fingers over and over.

"How about I give the class the rest of the day off and everyone heads back to the dorm?" Aizawa suggested as he slowly stood back up, "None of you are going to be up for any of the exercises scheduled today."

"I-I'm s-"

"Nope!" Uraraka gently whapped the boy upside the head before standing herself. Smiling brightly at her friend, she held out a hand to help him to his feet, "No more apologies. We're going to go back to the dorms and then we're going to binge watch Netflix for the rest of the day."

Izuku looked between her hand, his own, and his classmates. Eventually, a wobbly smile curled his lips and he took her offered hand, "O-Okay."

* * *

_***Red Spider Lilies in Japanese culture is a flower related to death. They are used in funerals and is a symbol of reincarnation. As such, they are seen as guides to the afterlife. Also, if my memory serves correctly, in Japan, when a student dies, a vase with flowers will be placed on their desk as a sign of remembrance. However, in cases of bullying, putting a vase with flowers on the desk of someone who is alive is like saying that that person is basically dead to them. Please correct me if I am wrong about this, by the way. **_

_**Mizu: One more chapter to go! This story should wrap up next week (hopefully...). And once again, before I sign off for the week, I wanted to say a few things. First and foremost, the level of bullying I went through was more emotional than physical compared to that that Izuku went through in this story. There were a few minor incidents (and one major one of destroyed property), but most of my trauma from childhood bullying was emotional. That being said, the number of times I looked at my dad's razors or in the medicine cabinet at my mom's medications...when I look back at my life, remembering those darker times and how easily it would have been to end it all sometimes makes my own blood run cold. I recently discovered that one of my coping mechanisms is technically a form of self harm, even thought it didn't "hurt" or "damage" me. I won't say what it was because I don't know if I'm ready for that. But basically, back then, whenever I would do it, those moments were the precious few that my brain wasn't working over time. That the voices in my head would just be quiet. The relief that came with the silence, I can't begin to describe it. It kept me clinging to that method of relief until I finally got help and was able to start getting better. But even after years of not indulging in the method, there are days where my fingers itch to. **_

_**Also, I would like to tell everyone that may be going through similar situations and fighting with their own thoughts of suicide or self harm that it is okay to not be okay. Admitting that is the first step to getting help and breaking the cycle. It sucks and is incredibly hard to do. But by admitting that you aren't okay, you can relieve some of the weight off you heart. Because when you spend every day trying to be "okay" when you are already using almost all of your energy to fight back your demons, it can get to be too much. But once you've admitted to yourself that you aren't okay, but you want to be one day, then you can refocus that energy back on yourself and start healing. There is no instant fix and you will find yourself sliding back down the hole you are trying to claw your way out of, but as long as you are willing to but in the effort to get better, then one day, you will be okay. And until that day comes, there is no shame in admitting that you aren't quite there yet.**_

_**Finally, one last piece of advice that saved me growing up. If you can't love yourself or can't find anything about yourself to keep you going, just know that what keeps you here with us doesn't have to be something about yourself. It can be something as simple as "I really want to read this next book in the series" or "I really wanted to go to the beach this summer". Anything that gives you something to hold onto, no matter how small is a valid reason to stay alive until you can love yourself and your life again. For me, in school, it was writing. It was all of the fanfics that I have posted on here and dozens of others that never were finished. I clung to my writing so hard because I wanted you all to see them. "If I don't finish this story, nobody will." That line grounded me and kept me going when I wasn't sure I could. In college, it changed to "I need to focus on getting my degree" to "I want to make my husband smile all the time" to "I want to smile with my husband all of the time". I had to relearn how to love myself but while I was doing that, it was okay that I couldn't so long as there was something out there that I did love enough to keep me around. And some days, I fell back down my hole a bit and they only branch I could grab onto was one of these grounding lines. Hell, some days, the feeling of spite that rose up when I would slide down was enough to power me through. **_

_**I know that I will be fighting this fight for the rest of my life, just like so many of you out there. But I plan to do everything in my power to one day come out on top and look back at all my demons that stood in my way and say I made it. And I hope that that day comes for all of you out there too.**_

_**Another long tangent but I felt it needed to be said. Thank you all again for all your support and I hope you guys are enjoying how this story is turning out. Ciao for now!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Mizu: And just like that, the final chapter is here. I debated on dragging this chapter out but in the end, decided to keep it short. It kind of wraps up some loose ends but not fully. Because a lot of those ends need time to heal. And truthfully, it kind of felt better to leave it on a neutral ending. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own My Hero Academia. All rights to characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi.**_

* * *

_**Chapter Four**_

* * *

_**PrivatePM**_

_**(HerecomestheBOOM to DekuScrub)**_

_{1:17 pm}_

_HerecomestheBOOM: _...u know that I didnt mean it, right?

_DekuScrub_: ...what?

_HerecomestheBOOM: _When I told u to...

_DekuScrub_: Oh

_DekuScrub_: Yeah

_DekuScrub_: I know

_HerecomestheBOOM: _…

_DekuScrub_: Kacchan, I'm sory that I said that in class

_HerecomestheBOOM: _The fuck are yo apologizing for?!

_DekuScrub_: I'm sorry because I didn't mean to say it!

_DekuScrub_: I'm sorry because I don't want you to lose the friends you finally opened up and care about because of me!

_DekuScrub_: I'm sorry because I still care about you idiot!

_DekuScrub_: I'm just...

_DekuScrub_:...sorry...

_DekuScrub_: for everything

_DekuScrub_: …

_HerecomestheBOOM: _fucking hell Izuku

_DekuScrub_: _**Asdf;ahsdovhsadovao;sasn;a**_

_{1:44 pm}_

_HerecomestheBOOM: _your stupid ass friends are glaring at me because you started crying during a fucking comedy special yeah I typed your nme

_HerecomestheBOOM: _name fuck. Its just your name!

_DekuScrub_: Sorry

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Stop apologizing!

_DekuScrub_: …

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Just...

_HerecomestheBOOM: _…

_HerecomestheBOOM:_...look I get it

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Youre trying to worry about me because thats just the type of fucking nerd you are

_HerecomestheBOOM: _But for tonight, just...just dont.

_HerecomestheBOOM:_...Im not good at words like you

_HerecomestheBOOM: _and I get fucking pissed off and fly off the handle all the time

_HerecomestheBOOM: _When we got to UA and I started looking at the hero I wanted to be and the heroes our class was trying to be, I think I started to realize that I

_HerecomestheBOOM:_ MAY have been wrong all these years.

_HerecomestheBOOM: _That just made me angrier though

_HerecomestheBOOM: _And you remind of all I want to leave behind

_HerecomestheBOOM: _So I keep lashing out

_HerecomestheBOOM: _But I never fucking realized that...

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Izuku...I know that I fucked up

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Like, lord explosion fucked up

_HerecomestheBOOM: _I must have been so incredibly fucking blind not to see that

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Stop glancing up at me with those damn teary doe eyes!

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Icyhot and Round face look like they are going to try and set me on fire with their minds

_HerecomestheBOOM: _And Icyhot just might be fucking able to!

_DekuScrub_: ...sorry..

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Dont!

_{2:03 pm}_

_DekuScrub_: ...did you really have to explode the throw pillow?

_HerecomestheBOOM: _WELL I CANT EXPLODE MY DAMN PHONE LIKE I WANT TO IF I WANT TO FINISH SAYING MY PIECE!

_HerecomestheBOOM: _And no one is going to let me close enough to say it to your stupid ass face!

_HerecomestheBOOM:_...and I dont think Id be able to say it yet.

_HerecomestheBOOM: _So stop looking at me like I killed your fucking gerbil in front of you!

_HerecomestheBOOM:_...you...you still have that dumb rodent, right?

_DekuScrub_: Captain Nibbler?

_DekuScrub_: Yeah...He's with mom cause I don't have room for his cage here

_HerecomestheBOOM: _You are a fucking nerd

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Ok. I am NOT going to apologize to you through this chat

_HerecomestheBOOM:_...I told the old hag to get me back into anger management classes...

_DekuScrub_: But you hated those!

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Yeah and what of it!?

_HerecomestheBOOM: _They fucking piss me off!

_HerecomestheBOOM: _But I know that I need to change

_DekuScrub_: Kacchan...

_HerecomestheBOOM: _I cant say it to your face yet but I will eventually.

_HerecomestheBOOM: _So just...

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Just give me some time.

_{2:38 pm}_

_HerecomestheBOOM: _Great! Now four-eyes is pissed at me!

* * *

_You're Izuku's reason for living..._

Toshinori hadn't thought much about what those words had meant at the time. He had been so overwhelmed by the boy's actions and convincing his mother to continue letting him watch over her only son that the words had passed by unceremoniously. That night he had chuckled to himself thinking that he was flattered that the boy was such a huge fan of his. When his successor had moved into the dorms, he had been staggered by the sheer amount of All Might memorabilia decorating it. It had been...sweet in a bizarre way. But that had been all the thought he had given it.

Now though, with the discovery of Izuku's past, those words took on a whole new meaning.

_You're Izuku's reason for living..._

She hadn't been exaggerating, had she? After his self-harm attempt, he had latched onto the only thing that gave him any kind of hope. Hope that it would one day get better. That so long as _ALL MIGHT_ was around, as long as he could dream of becoming a _**hero**_ like _his_ hero, that he could keep on going. He couldn't love himself but he could love the dream of being a _hero_. Of being someone that would protect the smiles of others. One that would smile no matter how excruciating the pain in his own soul was. That hope was all that he had to keep going.

**And he told him that he could not be a hero and LEFT him on the top of a roof**...

Saying that he felt guilt crushing down on him would be an understatement. He wasn't sure that there was a word that encompassed just how much shame he felt for how he had acted when he first met the boy. No matter how irritated he had been about having a child- (_oh god, this boy was still just a child. How could he have overlooked something like this?!)_ -find out about his secret, he still should have escorted the boy off of the rooftop. But more than that, he had told him that he **couldn't** be a hero and **left him there**.

_**The day he had been told to jump off a roof and end his life, he was told by his hero, the only thing keeping him alive, that he would not be able to reach his dreams and then left there. Alone. All alone **__**on that damn roof.**_

Nothing he could ever do would ever make it up to the boy. No apologies or words of comfort would be able to erase his actions. The only solace he could take was that he had met his amazing successor and grant his wish. To be able to help him become the hero that he was meant to be.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprise to see you looking like someone just kicked your puppy in front of you," Aizawa sighed as he sat across from him in the teacher's lounge. He had just gotten back from checking up on the class, "Don't know if it'll make you feel any better but here."

Looking up, he saw Aizawa holding up his phone to show off a photo he had snuck of the class. There were all crowded together in the commons with an assortment of blankets, pillows, and junk food. In the center of the mass was a laughing Izuku, cuddling with Koda's pet rabbit. Even Bakugou was present though it was clear that the class would not be quick to forgive with him seated on a separate couch, present but apart from them all. It would take a while but they all showed that they were willing to work through it all together.

He did have one question though...

"...why are they all in my pajamas?" Toshinori weakly laughed.

"Apparently it was Todoroki's idea that he brought up to Yaoyorozu who made them all," Aizawa rolled his eyes, pulling back his phone and tucking it away.

"They're all worried," Toshinori nodded, "Not that I can blame them."

"...Mic was really worried too when he heard the kid crying while he was waiting in the hallway," Aizawa rubbed the back of his neck, "We'll probably have to tell all the staff so that we can better keep an eye on Midoriya's mental health."

"He won't like it but he should also take a day or two to rest," the former hero added.

"Good luck stopping him from training," Aizawa snickered.

Quiet soon encompassed the two teachers. Over the last few months, they had come to admire each other quite a bit. They had also both become extremely protective of their class. They knew that their situation was strange. Aizawa was their homeroom teacher but All Might only taught heroics to 1-A. This was originally because of his time limit and had yet to be redefined. But since he was still a novice at teaching so more often than not, Aizawa would help out as he didn't have a class at that time. As such, they had seen their students grow and experience so much together. It was a strange bond but a bond nonetheless. As such, they both were extremely worried about Izuku's wellbeing, before this and definitely now.

"...I overheard Bakugou calling his mom as they all headed for the dorms," Aizawa sighed, "He asked her to get in contact with his old anger management therapist."

Toshinori was about to open his mouth to say something when his phone went off. It was an epic musical number, unlike all of his other ringtones that were quotes of his. He had purposefully set it as such when he had first met his successor because it was the first time in a long time that he felt hopeful for the future. Pulling out his phone from his pocket, he smiled at the screen.

_**Midoriya (Mini Me)**_

**Kacchan just told me he's going back to anger management**

_That's good news, right?_

**I...**

**I don't know**

_Well how do you feel about him going back?_

**...guilty?**

**Like...it's my fault?**

**Like if I had just stayed quiet, that everyone would be happier**

_But you wouldn't be_

**...maybe**

_Izuku, I know that it can be hard to accept, and most likely hypocritical of me to say, but you are not responsible for anyone else's happiness._

_-_Read-

The former hero frowned after several minutes without any response from his protégé. The boy was always prompt with his responses.

_Would you like to talk?_

…**...yeah...**

_Will you be alright till tomorrow? We can go to Dagobah beach so that you can vent without worry for a bit. _

**That actually sounds really nice...**

_Can you meet me in front of the dorms around 6 am then? _

**Of course! See you then All Might!**

Toshinori chuckled slightly as he tucked the phone back in place, "Don't worry about keeping Young Midoriya from coming to classes tomorrow. I've got it."

Aizawa's eyebrows furrowed slightly, "You know, you have never been good at hiding your favoritism for Midoriya. It hasn't affected your teaching too much so I wasn't concerned but the fact that the two of you know so much about one another is starting to become one."

Toshinori stared at his coworker for a long moment before a self-deprecating smile curled into place on his bony cheeks, "The hero that Young Midoriya mentioned during his tale this morning was me."

Aizawa did a remarkable job of not visibly reacting.

"He accidentally found out about my secret and impressed me so I agreed to help him out with what I could to get ready for the exams. And he hasn't stopped impressing me and surpassing my expectations every day," All Might fibbed a little, stretching the truth where he had to. But nothing in his last sentence was anything less than the absolute truth.

At this, Aizawa grinned and shook his head, "Figured it was something like that. The kids didn't notice but you looked like a part of you died when he got to that part."

There were no lies in that statement either.

* * *

Toshinori did his best not to fidget as he sat beside his student in the drab waiting room. The leather seats were slightly uncomfortable but they weren't meant for long seating periods. Next to him was a basket filled with magazines showing off the best of homes or summer dishes. He thought about flipping through one for a moment before deciding against it. On the other side of the basket, Izuku sat clicking away rapidly on the brand new fidget cube that Present Mic had gifted him. The man had been all too happy to give him it. Izuku had been thrilled with the gift too, though that may have been because it was some of the radio host's merchandise. Still, listening to the constant clicking was both comforting and worrying. The boy was trying to put on a brave face, but the clicking and the wild swinging of his legs on the slightly too tall chairs gave him away. He was nervous. Or rather, as Toshinori was learning, he was anxious.

Not that Toshinori wasn't anxious himself. Of all the favors that his successor could have asked of him, this wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

"Izuku?" came a kind woman's voice as the door they were facing opened up, revealing a middle aged woman with graying ash brown hair tied in an updo and hazel eyes, "Why don't you come on in?"

Izuku slid off of his chair, nervously glancing at Toshinori, "...C-Can...Can my teacher come with me?"

The woman blinked before smiling kindly at the boy, "So long as it is ok with you, it is ok with me."

With a wobbly smile, Izuku crossed the room and through the threshold of the door. Toshinori followed suit, heart in his throat. He took the room in as Izuku got himself settled on the maroon couch up against the wall. The room was painted in neutral earthy tones with several bookshelves filled with books about psychology and a few figures of dolphins holding them up. On one of them, there was a cute dolphin wax melter that was currently melting a cube of what he assume was the source of the slight floral scent of the room. Diagonal from the maroon couch was a swivel chair where the woman had taken a seat. Seeing as there were no other seats available, Toshinori sank into the couch beside his student.

"I have to admit that I was surprised to hear from you, Izuku," the woman smiled, glancing at Toshinori, "Last time I saw you, you told me that you were training super hard to get into U.A. and that you weren't sure if you were going to have time to come and see me. Since you are here with a teacher, am I safe to assume that something has happened?"

The two One for All users looked at each other before Toshinori laid a comforting hand on his protoge's shoulder. Izuku shot him a grateful smile before taking a steadying breath, "Actually...there's a lot of things that's happened..."

* * *

_**Mizu: That's the end of "Panic". Originally, I toyed around with this story being much longer and delving into how the other students took the revelation and what they would do to make Izuku feel better. But when I got to those parts, they felt forced or patronizing. Maybe it was just because this story was so personal for me that I had a hard time pulling it off like I wanted. And truthfully, I like how this has ended a lot better than I originally planned. **_

_**Thank you guys so much for all your support with this story. It feels good to get back into writing, posting, and actually finishing stories. And I won't lie and say that there isn't a sequel to this story rolling around my head. (I say that as if I didn't just finish outlining the entire story start to finish in two days...) However, it'll probably be a while before I get to actually writing it. Panic, while I love this fic and am super happy that you all do too, has taken a lot out of me. I'm probably going to disappear for a while again to work on the sequel and some other stories. **_

_**Soooo...I guess I see you guys next time I decide to come out of hyper sleep. Ciao for now!**_


End file.
